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Anything But

I find that God reminds me of things I need to hear again and again. This morning I read a journal entry I wrote over ten years ago. But as I read, I was moved with the reality of truth. And I looked back through my photos to that day and was so glad I captured the moment. So, I'm sharing my decades-old memory today and thankful for the reminder. May it bless someone today who might stumble across it...

It's surreal really - how did I get here? Sitting on a cabana in Bimini, just feet from an infinity pool that looks out onto the ocean. It is warm but the shade is cool and so is the breeze. I sip a pina colada and in the distance, not far away, behind my head a rap song is playing, "You're beautiful, so damn beautiful." I laugh inside, knowing God sees me and knows the way I see myself here. Feeling like I don't belong is normal for me. Yet God sees me as beautiful - and this is a hidden moment for me and God. Knowing that He sees me as beautiful and beloved and this day is a gift - a day in paradise, time by myself. I've been afraid to be alone lately, afraid of feeling overwhelmed with tears - and God knows why. Yet now I just feel peace, contentment. I don't know what this next year will hold but I am resting in the One who loves me, who knows me, who thinks I'm beautiful. And He reminds me in places and spaces where i feel anything but.

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